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| So, completly sorry have not updated in an age
Computer went dead, along with every single file I own.
Nevermind.
Been proper stressed with exams and stuff like that.
Had my birthday couple of days ago.
Going shopping soon.
Thats all i'm going to say for now, not in a writing mood.
Have to go and re-save pics and stuff.
-xo | |
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| i was really stupid to think i could ever compete.
there was no way i could, it was obvious.
i'm not as funny as her,
or as pretty,
or as talkative,
or as kind.
i can't tell funny stories.
i'm all awkward and mess stuff up.
i'm not skinny, and i have horrible hair in the rain.
i wish i was endeering and illusive and intelligent.
i wish i was mysterious and enticing and poetic.
but i'm not.
and the only people's attention i can capture are chavs or suicidals.
and as soon as i nearly get there with anyone worthwhile, i ruin it with my boring-ness.
i'm blank.
but i think that this all sounds a bit emo.
so, to clarify, i'm nice.
and i usually think i'm great.
but not now. now, i'm just nice.
but nice isn't fun, is it? - Mood:disappointed
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| I sworn I wouldn't cry about this whole situation.
I thought I wouldn't care, which was true up until now.
now i can't stop crying. but not a sort of sobbing cry, i'm not making any pathetic noises, just uncontrollable tears.
this world would be amazing if everybody thought the way i do,
and everybody seen things as I.
Normally, even in the people I dislike, I have at least an ounce of respect for them.
But not now, now i've found somebody that bends that rule.
I don't respect him in the slighest.
In fact, I despise him.
If only everybody seen things as I,
because then people would know the people I know, how I know them.
and we'd all be able to see the good in people, even when all your honestly seeking is the bad.
it's hard to find good in everyone, and so easy to find the bad.
we're all just lazy, but not me.
i want to.
and i do.
and if adults weren't so fucking righteous about everything, then maybe they would to.
- xo
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| I was.
but now I'm back to square one again.
I told christmas would entail lots of fights.
and i was right.
so i'm such a bad person that my best friend has been banned form seeing me,
even though i have no influence over her.
and because people don't want to face up to the fact that their own child was involved too,
people see it fit to blame me.
so in all honesty, i really don't care anymore.
they can do what they want to me.
if they take my computer, i need to do art coursework,
if they take my paints, i'll practice on the wall,
if they take my walls, i'll replace them with a box.
I don't know if i've wrecked everything that was happening.
but i won't be suprised.
normally i'd say i deserve it, but i blantently don't.
i miss my happiness. | |
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| the proclaimers are singing right now,
which is rather relevant to christmas because the arc angel proclaimed to the shepards.
but i dont think that angel had ginger hair and emo glasses, and slept in a bed with his arse hanging out,
like the proclaimers do.
i often wonder if baby jesus was sweet and lovely and if they put him in a highchair made of reeds,
coz that would be fantastic,
he could rule over his people like a panda.
but maybe he was a spoilt brat.
christmas is any other day.
i'm bored and i miss my nan's christmas parties so much i think sometimes i want to cry.
like i nearly did this morning.
Amy Winehouse was all singing and teary-eyed, and i got so upset because I adore her.
I want her to get better.
I got a unicorn for christmas.
Has Jesus ever seen a unicorn?
Because I was unsure if Jesus was friends with Noah, who was the impatient man who didn't wait for the unicorns.
It's not their fault they're playful.
I miss kareoke.
I miss santa.
I miss my cousin.
I miss my nan & grand.
I miss my bones.
I miss christmas.
-xo | |
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| I know, long time.
Onwards with the festivities.
I remember last christmas, it was boring, but it was still a family time,
a time I could sit with my cousins, and reek havoc on my loving grandfather,
yet it is now no longer a family time, as they're all jet-setting across the globe,
leaving me alone with my immediates.
therefore, i came up with a concept.
the true meaning of christmas is to get so drunk you blank out the following week.
and thats exactly what I plan to do.
tommorow, I recieve my camera, play around with my parisienne themed trinkets, before heading off the next day on a 48-hour rave.
call me selfish, but it will just be full on festive fights, and that is something I could do without.
I watched a film last night, Vanity Fair.
Now, I'm extremly impressionable, as demonstrated frequently.
So, I felt inclined to behave like Rebecca Sharpe (Reese Witherspoon) throughout the night.
Impressionabilty is my main weakness.
I almost subconciously immitate.
Like when I was approximatly 4, I danced with a lady at a party, Beverley, and I adored her.
Called myself Sopherley for the following week, until her charm wore off.
Now, thanks to Miss.Sharpe, I begin every sentence: "Pray," or "I assure you."
I want siver boots.
My Noel wears silver boots, and for ages I've thought they were fantastic,
I seen some in Office,
and I read my horoscope last night:
"Destiny wears silver boots."
I smiled alot.
- xo - Mood:peaceful
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| I don't even know why I'm doing this.
Bored?
I don't feel the need to introduce myself.
Go to my profile to sere what I like.
Watched The Holiday today,
I quite liked it.
School was a bit of a bore, but it was reasonable.
Tommorows the last day of school.
I can finally get some work done without teachers' presence and with Johnny Borrell's.
Someone feels sick.
I'ts me.
Pasta is revolting on occasions.
How nice is this new Luella outfit:
I found it on her site, I adore her.
Her and Chanel rank high. (:
Oh and look at one of my other finds,
Mind buying it me for christmas anyone?
Paris Nautical - My favourite thing ever.
Tonight holds no plans.
Perhaps start making my new bag?
It's a jungle fabric, I stole it from some curtains.
I think I'll hang different little trinkets from it.
I fancy doing something creative tonight.
I've even begun to think of running my own online business.
How cool would that make me?
- xo | |
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